Poem: Jesse

Jesse-
You left without a goodbye
Oh how the time flies by.
You made me happy,
you made it all go away,
never did i know..
i would miss you this way.
You were my silent best friend
the one that i adored.
the person i cared most for
in my lonely little world.
You opened up my shell
and there i flew away
you called my name..
i came back....
then you went away...
i used to ask myself..
was it me?
but now i know it was just the time.
So thank you my dear friend.
you are always in my heart

Poem: Leaving Letters

Leaving letters-
You left them by my bed..
you said don't worry my pretty head.
how can i not?
you were my love..
leaving letters saying you were dead...
i did not believe it..
i could not comprehend
just how much pain
it was that we were both in.
now you fly above me..
so beautiful and wise..
every time i think of you
i have to close my eyes...
tears stream down my face...
i know your better now..
i also know it wasn't me..
that we were meant to be...
just in a different time..

Poem: Broken Bottles

Broken bottles on the floor..
Heart spilled out to the core...
why did you do it?
what for?
emptiness inside my soul
you left your dog..
your house...
your car
you left my love and kicked it out the door...
you left me broken,
heartless,
torn
i dont talk
i cant think
you were my love..
my life
the reason my bottles were never empty
you gave me hope
when no one could..
yet you left broken bottles on the floor.

Poem: The New Found Glory Guy

The New Found Glory guy...
You did not know I cared..
How could you?
i never showed you half the love i held for you.
we barely even spoke.
everytime we talked...remember?
i used to choke.
You were so perfect to me..
in every single way...
the way you spiked your hair
the way you smiled
that song i heard you sing..man,
you know.. it was amazing.
we were perfect for each other
but you never knew
i hid my heart real well..
and actually still do...
i feel as though you wanted to know me..
but you never asked...
i read that poem to you..
guess what?that guy....
yea he was you..
you looked at me with understanding..
you did not know we were alike..
for you my Darling Matt...
you really changed my life...

Poem: People

People...
People who i know or knew..
you know i still care
i think back and wonder how could i be so bare?
i never told you how i felt
or that i ever cared
for me my friends that was scary..
torture, beware
you asked me what i thought about...
i never said a thing...
usually flashbacks of things unseen
to you and to others..
i could never ever tell...
the people that hurt me...
i never got away..
because the pain inside of me...
can never ever fade away...
people say its ok...
love will help..
no it wont..
not when you cant love...
not when you cant meet people..
because your too afraid..
then when you meet someone...
and fall in love...
turns out,
he could never be my love...
he could never love me..
the way that i love him...
makes me alone..
all over and over again...
i will not come out anymore..
i will not talk and laugh..
i will not be the happy girl i once was...
because all seems lost
with him my heart flies...
my writing a song..
without him..
i have no wings..
words are just a blur...
everything was so perfect..
falling in love...
but people listen
never give up love.

Poem: Three Words

Three words i am waiting for..
will they ever come?
will he feel the way i do..
or has my time not come?
will he say i love you?
oh i how i wish he would..
he now should know he's saved my life...
for i would have died today..
if only i didnt want to talk to him
he was the reason i stopped..
the reason i am here...
so if you dont care..
tell me...
if you do
say those three words
before i come un-glued.

Poem: Prince Charming

His voice speaks calming sweetness.
A tenderness in my heart.
His words send a touch of cool caress straight into my soul.
His laugh makes my heart wish to beat against his chest.
My fingers want so bad to run down his beautiful face.
He makes my heart sing and dance.
He makes me feel so safe.
A girl who never thought she could, now finds her heart full of love.
I want to look inside his soul....
and see all the beauty I wish I could hold.
I want to feel his arms around me,
holding me like I've never had.
I wish I was a Princess so
I could deserve that Prince's love.

Poem: Missing Him

The loneliness I feel when I miss him...
I miss him everyday.
When we talked I imagined his arms around me..
I felt safe for the first time in my life.
Now I spend everyday lonely and missing him.
I can never be happy I will always be missing him...
Missing him...
missing my soul mate...
loneliness forever.

Poem: Does He Care?

Does he love me?
Does he care?
Will I stop pulling my hair?
When I think of him,
does he think of me?
Does he know he's in my dreams?
Does he care?
Should I just disappear?
Maybe I could tell him..
Maybe he could see...
Even after that,
he will never love me.

Poem: A Blue Moon

Have you ever seen a blue moon?
I mean a real one, one that you can only see when your crying alone on the side of the street.
I see a lot of blue moons.
Beautiful, elegant round circle of misty blue light.
You would think something so beautiful would make you happy.
However when you see a blue moon, the moon is sad with you.
You feel the sadness creep behind your shoulder.
You hear whimpers of a woman.
No, of a goddess.
The moon goddess.
When you are sad,
look to the moon,
she will come to you..
Wearing blue.

Poem: Safe

How can a total stranger make someone feel safe?
Is it because we have spent more then one lifetime together?
Is it because of a unspoken connection?
Is it because my soul screams for safety?
Or could it be just my heart screaming for love?
Is the sound of my heart aching in pain enough to show how much I care?
Or must I scream it throughout the skies?
I love you.
I want you.
I need you.
I need your safety.
Your love is my life and my safety.
You are my protector.

Poem: How does he feel?

Does he know I care?
How does he feel?
Does he care?
Will he ever?
Will I ever get the chance
to tell him I love him.
I never believed in love at first sight.
I loved him before seeing him.
I loved him by his words alone.
I loved him by his essence alone.
I want him to love me.
I want him to care, but does he?
Does he know how to care?
Does he know how to love and feel loved?
I don't want him to pass my love up...
Please TURN AROUND....
Your leaving true love...
Please I'm begging come back...
I can love you like no one else can....
Don't turn your back.

Poem: Lost in the Mist

I find myself lost in the mist
that I once called my life.
I miss him so much,
my brain created this fog of horror.
I cannot escape and I cannot breath.
This will suffocate me.
I will not live to see another day.
Until I hear his voice.
Then I see him.
I know in my head this is a hallucination,
but its so good.
I've missed him.
I reach to touch him.
My hand goes right through him
and he disappears.
He is gone, forever...My love,
the only one I have ever cared for.
Gone.
Could he ever forgive me?
Could he ever care again?
I ask myself.
Then I see the fog....
Will he come?
Will he be my knight once again?

Poem: A Dare....

A Dare....
You took my character.
You took my love.
My belief was gone.
My soul felt empty.
You took innocence.
You took safety.
Let me tell you, pedophile.
I'm stronger now.
I'm louder now.
I DARE YOU NOW!!!

Poem: Nature

A beautiful rainbow.
A aqua clear river.
A bend in the road.
An over-showering willow tree.
A beautiful bliss.
Simply natures kiss.

Poem: Long Love Lost

I once never thought love existed.
It tore my heart to believe this.
I lived for love.
True love, long lasting,
embracing emotional true love.
Every word spoken wrapped in silver silk.
My heart screams joys, of knowing,
knowing true love is out there.
You are mine forevermore,
I already gave my heart to you long ago.
Yours may be someone Else's,
but My love for you will never fade.
Will never tear.
Will never be scorched.
I live for love,
Loving you.
Loving the soft beauty that you hold inside.
Inside of you my heart will always cry.

Poem: Beauty

Beauty lives inside your soul.
Breathing beautiful colors under your skin.
Eyes are windows to the soul.
Your eyes lead to pure beauty.
Your voice is beauty and safety intertwined.
Your beauty lies deep inside.
Beauty is love.
Love is beautiful.
Life is love.
Your heart holds the only key to mine.
My love is simply for you.
You alone are my muse.
My passion.
My creativity.
My heart.
You alone are my beauty.
I love you.
I love you my beautiful, crazy, knight.

Poem: Smiles

Smiles touch all over me.
They dig their way inside.
And when its time to talk to him,
they like to come and fly.
They scurry to the surface,
and with giggles erupt for him.
It's the smiles that he brings me,
that make each day a cinch.
Even though he doesn't love me..
It's with him my smiles grow.
Every part inside me, feels him, head to toe.
Smiles touch all over me.
They dig their way inside.
And when its time to talk to him,
I have to hold it inside.

Poem: In Five minutes

In Five minutes you changed my life.
In five minutes you could make me cry.
In five minutes I'm filled with delight.
In five minutes, I would put up a fight.
In five minutes I'll kiss you goodnight.
In five minutes I'll turn out the light.
In five minutes....YOU are my life.

Poem: Voice

I hear his voice...
My body tingles.
I think about him, my heart sings.
I long to touch him, kiss him.
My arms long to be wrapped around him.
I dream with his voice, flowing through my mind.
I dream imagining that he's beside.
I hear his voice,
my knees shake,
my fingers tremble,
my lips quiver,
I love that..
I love that guys voice

Poem: Waiting

Feels like a haze.
Everything lost for days.
His smile gives me chills.
His voice is pure comfort.
Waiting...How would he touch me?
How would he kiss me?
How would he look at me?
Would he see through my eyes?
Waiting...Would he hear my soft cries?
How would he hold me?
Would he wrap his arms around me?
Would he love me?
Waiting...Feels like a haze.
Everything lost for days.
Waiting...Waiting...
Waiting for his love.

Poem: Think

Hot steam rising to my face.
Water gushing all over the place.
I think.
I think not of the pans I'm scrubbing.
I think of him.
Several burns later, soaked from head to toe.
I think.
I wonder, does he think of me?
Does he think of me at night, as I think of him?

Poem: Miss

I miss him already.
I miss the conversation we had just last night.
I miss hearing his voice.
I miss hearing his laugh.
Most of all I miss hearing his smile.
Over the phone, even a smile is worth a million bucks.
A million bucks or more.
My heart skips a beat, just knowing he's around.
Everytime I talk to him, it's as if I've been crowned.
Crowned with a royal friendship.
A friendship only the best deserve.
I love my friend as a friend,
more then a friend and
as my best friend.
Through rocky roads and steep climbs,
he'll always by my side.
So to my friend. You know who you are.
It is you I have to thank, for the fact that I'm alive.
It is from you that all my smiles origionate.
It is you who keeps my soul alive.
My best friend.
You are my love.
You are my world.

Poem: Beauty

Beauty?
What is it?
Make-up
body-type
or perfect hair?
Or...a smile
a hand
eyes that soar
laughter that tingles
happy tears
soft touches
long hugs
hopeful prayers
what is beauty?
could it just be
you
all that you are
all that we are?

Poem: Strong!!!

Strong!!!
Feelings arise like the morning sun.
Uncontrollable, yet predictable.
Nothing removes the cloud.
Holding my body, and my head high.
I am...Nothing can drag me down.
It's as if I can fly.
I will stand tall all through.
Through all my life.
I am...I know what I am worth.
I know what I deserve.
I can never be touched.
My soul never breached.
My thoughts never taunted.
My fear never showing.
I am...STRONG!!!

The Gem in the Rock Continued.

We went to a Rock shop here in Utah. Granted it's nothing great, It's Ogden Utah that we are talking about here. He said it looked like it was just glass, because it had no crystal structure. However after looking for several (I mean about 6) hours online I was reading more into Green Beryl Stones. Often used to be discarded as glass because it had no crystalized structure. It sounds exactly what I found.
1) No crystalized structure.
2)Green, but almost colorless.
3)Glassy material.
and finally,
4) It along with Red Beryl is found in Utah.
My grandparents on my mothers side are rock hounds, and they know everything about everykind of rock or gem, even petrified wood, water, moss you name it they know it. I'll be sending samples to them very shortly.

Crystals in a Rock?

I live in Utah. (no I'm not mormon) We have a rather long river that runs all over my town, my boyfriend and I were walking along it looking for river stones to paint. I looked down and in this large grey rock was aguamarine crystals growing out. We chipped away at the crystals and later dug out the entire rock, so far as we keep digging we find more crystals, some clear. It looks a lot like the Green Beryl, but we're not exactly sure, either way we found something really cool. W e also ended up finding clear Quartz. I'll keep you posted in case we ever find anything else.